*Rahayu BinTe AbDul RaHim***

In Love Or Not

2008-05-02T05:02:00.003+08:00

I kind of like dis guy who is frm sabah,
to love or not to love to like or not to like that is the question..hehehehehehe
nah maybe it is juz a fling thing nothin serious cause not talking to him i dun
lose anything. it has been fun but to admire sum1 but nah it juz for fun.
Sumtimes i am in love with dis guy who has been with me for4 yrs. but i simply cant wait for him that song. as my age gets older. what happen if it doesnt happen i hav wasted my lie. but i do care for him it has been too long knowin him. hmmm onli time will tell.

The Dead Will Nvr Come Back

2008-04-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

Few years back i get to noe this guy named Faizal. He works at an oil piping company (if i am not wrong). I know him thru mirc as usual. I like to chat i simply dun noe y. But for once i nvr reali get to meet him. eventho they were chances. But i kind of like tokin to him i dun reali noe if i realli love him or what. He was this guy who gets angry abt everthing.. and i hav to keep pujuk him. which is cute and funny he has this nice voice that makes me melt. after so many years /mths i dun noe y i simply cant forget his number until dis day. I called him and f ani1 call his hp. i pretend i didnt noe. called me back askin i if i called his number i was scared tot maybe his wife. hey he was much older than me maybe by now he could me marry coz it has been long since i tok to him. i did call a few times but i hang up after hearin his voice i was scared. i play around with him feelin wen he was gettin serious wif me. i blow it ... that another story but all i noe i hav dis mix feelin of how i feel towards him. he tried to change for me. maybe it was for the good maybe it was for the bad i dun noe. i will nvr noe. i am not reali sure if he was serious wif me or not. it was juz a passer by to pass time. After a long twist with his sister i found out that he had pass away on 2nd FEb. I was in total shock to hear it. Kind of sad but i am not reali sure if it ia reali sadness..hmmmm i dun noe...funny but true. i guess i hav lost him. now wat is the point of rememberin his num he is gone forever. the onli guy that deep down indside i wan to be with cause i rem his number until now..but maybe it was not mean to be. god loves him and end his sufferin in the word. Faizal u will always be rem by me. i wish i had the chance to say i am sori to u for what happen btw us but i guess i didnt hav the courage and now it is too late.

Is this wat you gonna get out of it all...

2008-04-09T12:16:00.000+08:00

In yesterday paper it was the sentence of Aniza Essa the woman to come out wif the plot to murder her husband Manap Sarlip together wif her lover Muhammad Nasir Abdul Aziz.
She was unhappy with the marriage, and she want it to end so much tat she ask her lover to kill him for her. Sad and unfortunate but it is due to hatred and love. hatred for the husband and love for the woman . ppl will say how can they do all these is there no humanity in them but sumtimes ppl go beyond for it all i guess. i kind of feel this story is touchin and sad. y go beyond y must they killed him to be hapi together. there are other alternative like they say.
wah..cant i find a guy who will go all the way for me...not tat i want to do wat she did but for happiness??
lol....
aniway the end has meet for them.

I am back again...

2008-04-07T18:43:00.000+08:00

After so long.. I am back again.
Cant believe it has been yrs since I Wrote in my journal.
Alot hav happen but now i am gonna pour my heart out here then continue to hurt myself deep inside. Loggin in soon once again sumtimes later. Adios

me back...

2006-08-07T11:35:00.000+08:00

i am back once again after so long been missing.....
i cant wait to get my new phone...yaeah !!!
the slide phone which i hav been waiting for so long. the one and only phone which is n80 black in colour....wah...i reali cant wait for it.

till then i am hapi to write all my feeling in my blog once again with full of my feeling.
my fren is getting married dis sept
i was shocked to the max.... i didnt expect she to be married too early nvr hav i tot in gettin married any time soon... eventho i hav said abt it a few time to fairuz but not reali meaning it at all....do u believe it
to get married it is a huge impact in one life..everythin changes and i dun noe how i gonna be if i was married. i am totally not prepared to be married.
how will i be how will i cope!!!
i dun noe if i hav found the rite 1 or i hav not .....uh i not gonna think abt it now the more i think the more i will stress abt it. that married life can be great and sum times it can turn to misery in the end of it.
uh too tired to write maybe later
tatatatatatata

2006-01-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

maybe i should be greatful of what i have....
i shouldnt ask for more....i cant ask for more.
what more can i ask for....??
I have a guy who loves me for what i am. eventho sumtimes he do judge me but he accepted me.... why should i let it go. he seen me in my best and he hav seen me in my worse. i guess sumtimes it is like that. what more can they be rahayu? he is everything that u can ask for... what more do u wan...???
i took a picture with him recently. i told him that i was getting fatter again. and he agreed but he said nothing bad to say to make me sad of what i am.

am i getting rounder or what....
maybe it about time i make up my mind in what i wan....
but i juz dun noe.....
recently i got to noe this guy. i thought he could boost my confidence. but i guess he was juz the same.... i noe wat i am. i noe u can nvr be mine...and i can see it now... everythin is gone with u. juz tell me dun push me away. maybe i was stupid to think there is hope for a better life wif sum1 but i guess i was wrong. they can nvr be ani1 else. cause i noe where i stand... u changed and i noe it. thx for tat times... i hope u are hapi always like what u r now... that is him i guess...
aniway my cuz now a days seems to keep forgetting me....
everytime she remember me the nxt day she forgets.... eh
wat eva it is she is so cute...love her so much
she is so sweet wen she laughs and wen she dun....
here is a few picture of her recently

Smile always rahayu...
cause when eva u smile u noe u r hapi...
which is better the pink or purple??

both look nice....

my love life

2005-12-23T23:39:00.000+08:00

Where should i start???
I dont know if it is called a relationship problem or just sick of that person. we have been together like so long that i.....feel like this relationship has come to a point that i dont know what to say anymore. At first it was like a dream come true to be love so much by a person who could be a person dream guy. In general he is good looking, loving, sweet, a good shopping partner. and many more....but he is persistance like like of forcing me to do things. and i hate that big time. he keep saying he wants to see me everyday. i thought that only happen in the beginning of the relationship not after a few years. kind of right now... i just want to be alone.stay at home and enjoy my day quietly. i just dont know why but that what i just want to so...he dont lik it keep asking me why i dont want to meet him and so on. is it wrong?? because of that we fight. start recking up the past. and it hurt each of us. and i have this attitude of not giving up...picking on him. i know is is so wrong but we just have to much fight that i just cant stand it anymore. should i continue with this relationship? i sometimes feel i hate it to the max.
i just dont know when i am angry i just wanna give up on this relationship. but i know i can never get this king of love again. this kind of feeling ad this kind of guy. what should i do??
i know when you have this kind of feeling of just dont know... your relationship is comming to an end. could there ever be help? or is it just doom to end. i cant even say we shall see cause i really dont know.
uhhhhh uhhh uhhh
why am i feeling this way?
is this relationship ending?
if it does will the next be better?
I SIMPLY WONT KNOW. the future is for us to see.

Uh I really Hate her.

2005-12-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

I know I should not be this way. But I am. I dont like this person at work. She really sucks to the max. She have this attitude that i hate so much. Today for no reason she have this ugly face. She saying all this wrong words. And I hate it so much. What is up with her??
Today in tiger airwa there is no pink box so sum1 say we have to use jetstar blue box. I told her when she come to work in the afternoon. then we have to write what flight we use it for and she claim i ask her to write what is her problem. she sucks big time. Saying that if finish y go all this trouble. wat type of person is she.
UHHHH!!!

Early Morning

2005-12-17T02:30:00.000+08:00

I have just finish updating my blogger. I don't know what I think of this blogskin. I just wanted it to be simple and kind of the colour is dull. Whatever it is I am sticking on this skin for a while.
Few dayz back I have submitted my new blogskin:
I did use this skin for a few dayz.

what do you think of it?
I put alot of effort in this skin and eventhought I have some good comments about it i kind of hate is with some of their criticise. They start calling me bitch and the F word seems to appear. Why should they do that? If they are so good then do it themself. Whatever it is I make this blogskin and I am proud of it.
Just now. I have this thing with Fairuz. He ask me out to meet for a while and I didnt feel like going out. I didn't pick up my room phone so he called my house number. And my answer to tell him that I don't want to go. Then I put down. He called again and nobody want to pick up. And when someone pick it up there was no answer. Eventually my dad pick it up and noone answer. My father got angry. Tried to call back the number. Someone pick up and said this is a public phone and my father started to shout to the person saying that whoever call been calling non stop.
Hahaha to Fairuz. He is so annoying. Like a bug that won't die.
oklah time for me to sleep.
Good nite.

a new me....Rahayu Rahim

2005-12-11T21:19:00.000+08:00

alot have happened since i have been gone.
Now i hope it will be better.
For the last few months I ran away from home...i don't know if it was running away.
I had family problem. i did somthing that hurt my parents feeling and that lead to my dad saying to me to go out of the house.
For around 6 months I have been out of the house.
Leaving on my own. It was terrible. but ok at the same time.
Freedom is the main reason for it to be ok
But I really miss my mm alot. I cried almost everytime askin myself if my mom still love me.
Now I am back ...my mom do love me and i miss all those times.

What a day

2005-05-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

What can I say....
Work have been tough...it is like shit. Everyday I have to work overtime atleast 3 to 4 hrs per dayz.
And finally hit me that I wasnt feeling well. Yes I went to the doctor to get a cought mixture and a flu tablet cause I had diz feeling that I have a shortness of breathand the doctor tells me I could have broncolitis and that is bad. man what is happening to me?
I know I have been smoking more than usual. Cause of the work load and it sucks big time.
I know I only feel diz way cause the cough and so on...cant be i really have that. What a thing to say to me!! Make me feel damn blur and conscious about myself.
Uh a few dayz back i wanted to change my off day cause I was feeling sick and I was unable to contact the person do off to work I go. And this stupid OA make me work more with more flight I was rooster to rplenish only 3 flight 2 Tiger flight and 1 Jetstar and I ended up doing another Jetstar flight. And that make me grew fustrated with that bitch oppss hehe that OA. A OA who cant even speak proper english. I wander how she pass and i have found out and I hate it big time. She is a money face bitch I guess...hehe
Why am i sayin all these thing maybe it is becoz i hate her..hahahaha
I am really lauging until my stomach is moving like a water ballon...hahahaha
Aniway recent ly made a new friend , at first I didnt really talk to her. i dont dun at first she taught I was stuck-up or sumthing...but kind of to say i was shy to be believe that. After a while I made friends with her and it turn out well. She was nice to click with. I can non stop gossiping abt things that happen at work and the people there. We even sms. It was great.
U know what i think I am getting fatter everyday. i gain another 4 kg workin there...how can i not. everyday there is free food..it is as if i eat like there is no other dayz and guess what it is almost the same food ever day.
i got to stop this or one day I will grow into another ballon like I use to....
oklah tomorrow I am working and i Guess I have to go
Tata..muakzz
until i blog again...

Welcome back to my blog

2005-04-27T01:52:00.000+08:00

After so long...I am back with a new skin and a new me..hehe...nah...
The same old me...
wah it seems ages since I last blog.
Was really busy with work. I guess. Work have been ok but feeling very tired almost everyday with the job I have been doing. As you can remember I replenish cart for Tiger airway and Jetstar asia.
Have been workin there for almost 4 mths. Cant really believed I lasted that long.
With the pay that bad, and my shoppingholic..it is really killing me.
Since I have worked there I have bought a pink 4GB mini IPOd and I simply love it.
Using Nokia flip phone 6260.
Bought the whole makeup set from Estee Lauder which cost me almost $400...wah must be crazy.
Had makeover with my boyfriend...

(wah so in love with it)
Aniway I am retaking my o"level..which I have no idea why.
Just wanted to accompany my brother....
My brother is taking bike lesson now....He was really good he pass 1st time taking his RTT. He maybe good at theory but he sucks big time in practical...NVM my brother....try yr best.u can make it...
Wah gtg...sleeping time..tomoroow work again...
hehe...i will try to update my blog....

my newest phone

2005-03-16T00:34:00.000+08:00

guess what...i bought another phone since nokia 7270 have not much function
it is really a beautiful phone... but the function is terrible..unlike nokia 7610...so i decided to buy a new phone....
which is nokia 6670....
i am really wasting money buying diffnt type of phone...but wat to do....
i must be nuts i guess.....

wat do u think abt it?
wateva it si i am not going to seel dis phone i guess....
enuff of spending my pay money on hp....
aniway my mp3 is spoit and i really hate it...i kind of just bought it.....eeekkkkk!!!
fairuz bought for me a digital camera...i simply love it so much...
thx darling for buying it for me...i really love it
i dun reali noe wat i really need it for but i love it...

it is so small and so cute.....
thx...muakzzzz
LOVE YOU SO MUCH......
hmmm...my work
been thinking about it..i dun noe if i wanna continue working...but atleast i have pocket money....
maybe i will juz continue....
for the mean time...really hate the working environment there.......
and i feel really tired only 1 off per week and i dun really feel the off day....coz i go out usually....hehe
my fault i guess
fairuz is takin bike licence again hehe...
padan muka dia.....kan dah tak leh naik lagi....wakakakaka
hmmm me and him so much differences....but he was alwayz patience with me and tat is wat i guess tat makes our relationship still on after all this while.....
This is a picture tat is taken recently of us..i really think i am growing fatter workin there there seems to be food everytime....and i am eating none stop like a pig...hehe
wah i must stop.....

hmmm i guess...i better sleep going out tomorrow...
luv n kisses....
muakzzz

Here It Comes

2005-03-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

Finally....
I got the phone I wanted....
Oh yes...Now I am using nokia 7270...the new nokia flip phone
Eventho it is not like 7610 where there is more function with better camera and with mp3 player.
People says may as well I buy other phone rather than that phone but I simply so in love with that phone.
But watever it is I LOVE MY PHONE...
After much thinking...I dun really think I wanna continue workin.
I simply hate the workin enviroment...
I did make fren with sum ppl there but some of them sucks big time n tat makes me hate to work there. workin life is almost the same as schoolin life....
Maybe I will work for another mth or 2 the off i go...
Few dayz back I have sumited a blogskin almost the same as the layout that I am using now.....
Here is the pic...

wat do u think?
It is blue/sky blue n pink in color
with teh theme endlessly falling in love with you...(my perfect love)
with kimberly locks-8th world wonder video.
Plain and simple...
I hope ppl will like it....
Oklah i wanna watch AI at channel 18....
hail to life...haha
muakzzz

2005-03-05T07:00:00.000+08:00

It has been really long still I have updated my blog....
I can't believe I am still working at SICC2 at barcart. The job was ok but now there seems to be conflict. It seems like schooling time I guess. Just the same thing for exapmle not liking this other person and doing or saying things that could cause this people feeling hurt or even worse feeling like not wanting to school there anymore. Sometime I feel like not wanting to work there anymore....but I just wanna give myself time and prove myself atleast I am not a failure...my father use to call me a quiter and that is pathetic and I really hate it.
My brother score so well in his O'level result but unfortunately on his english he score E8 and he was unable to joing any poly course cause of that. ITE seems to be the other alternative. I told my brother maybe he can just go ite and score well and get to poly or he can re-take his O's and score better in english and still be able to go poly with D7 there is alot courses in poly tat meet tat citeria. All the best for my brother I guess.
Eventually I am able to buy the phone That I dream of owning. That is nokia 7270. Not much function but I really love that phone for the style. Is there any video in it? I am not too sure. Uh....working so hard to buy that phone...few mths back bought this M900 phone which is frm Mitsubishi. A very good camera phone but it is damn boring with not much function decided to sell it after feww weeks of buying it.....seems to be hard. Bought it for $500 and I could only sell it back for less that $200 and it sucks big time coz I just bought the phone it is still new.
Uh i guess i better get ready for work....bye
shall update sumother time....
hehe
muakzz

2005-02-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...let me see....things that happen to me this past ffew dayz...
ok....i am still working at icc2 barcart. work have been ok but few dayz back i have complain about some1. it was this lady her name is sam. i was kind of irritated that she is not really doing her job. kind of in my side of work we either do jetstar or tiger airway and to me tiger airway is really kind of easy to do rather than jetstar. cause jetstar have more counting to do than tiger. and i can do tiger faster than jetstar. and for the past few dayz she have been doing tiger and me doing 2 jetstar which took me almost my whole shift and she doing 1 tiger she took the whole dayz and that is what irritates me so much it juz not fair so i told the supervisor(fadly) about it and kind of he told the officer therte and that created more fuss and kind of that irritates me even more. anyway enuff abt her .....
recently i bought aiwa mp3 it have been great....really love it alot. it is 1.5gb and i really make use of the space with all my mp3 songs.....wah
since i lost my phone few mths back cause sum1 stole it...
I got a new phone....it is all abt crama... and i reali love it
Fairuz bought it for me as a replacement.....
aniway i reali write so much i am tired off to sleep for me...tomorrow work work n work..
muakzzzz

I am back

2005-01-23T01:10:00.000+08:00

Wah it Reali have been quite sum time since i really blog
Been busy lately with work.....
Oh yah ..... Now I am working....
At airport ICC2 if u know where it is at bar cart...kind of lame but what to do i have quite school. At least the pay is ok for now i guess. I get $40 perday. And if i have 4 off day in 1 mth i will have abt $1080. Werkin there I made friends with ppl of all kind. And I cant reali say it is fun but it is ok.
But I can see my boyfriend....yes Ia m back with Fairuz again.
We broke up and we are back together.
He was reali sweet...he will wait for me.
I just dun know how to explain... he work frm 11pm to 7am and i start work at 9am to 5pm. And he will wait for me and stay at work place so he can eat with me.
And I find it reali sweet.
Not many ppl will be able to do this things for me.
Many things happen ...lost my hp...yeah my nokia 7610 and it sucks big time...
I am farkin sad about it case it was special to me to the person who took it....FUCK YOU
hehe
It is gettin late....i will update it sumother time.....
Bye
Muakzzz

Like I even bother

2004-12-17T21:59:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm
Time to update my blog!!
For that person that wrote in my blog..
I love my pink blog and I love that song. If you don't like it, it is ok. It is mine and it is ok for you to comment. And about the Veer-zara hindi movie. I have watch it and that is what I think like what you think about my blog. You comment isn't it? People have their own opinion about things about their happening and their life that is why they have a blog. But whatever it is. Thanks for your comment. At least some of it I did it myself and I really love it. If you hate it so much it is your own choice. I am not racist ....are you?
anyway forget about that person. Have not been really going out cause I am damn broke. Maybe because I don't really wan spend so much money on my last saving. Maybe just buy my cigarette. I think I should quit cause it is killing me financially. And that is really bad. Maybe Sunday will be going out and sleepover at my friend house. Can't wait for that day.
I really miss going shopping. So many things I wan buy and it is now going to be Christmas. And a lot of shops are having sales/discount. But what to do. Have to control myself on the money wise since I am no longer schooling and finding job. I am now a full time slacker.
Get to know this guy, he really is very nice and too good to be true. Kind of think he is a sweet talker. But whatever it is he is really very nice and sweet. Maybe there will be friendship between us. He is a good friend a good listener.
Fairuz bought a new line from M1 and he was given another sim card that is only for GPRS and it is great. You can download as much as you can with 5000KB. Normally 1000KB is $10 and with this sim card you only pay $10 for 5000KB. To me for now it is worth it. And I have downloaded a lot of games and ringtone for my 7610. Talking about handphone. I thought I really wanted to buy they new flip phone nokia 7270 but I really don't want to sell away my 7610. Really don't know what I should do. Maybe later when I start working on January then I will know. For now just daydream about it.
I have make another blog and it use to be my old blog...All the princess thing. It is kind of very pinky with alot of glitter word. But I use to love that but I like this better. With a song that my friend got it for me. It kind of sound cute and I dig into cute things.
Long time haven been in my friendster and I got this from the bulletin board. I find it is kind of sweet and romantic. What do you think!! hehe

Wen a guy reali falls in love and becomes
faithful to his beloved, his change in his character
will reali shock every1 around him.. His egoist heart
will uncompromisingly softens when he willingly
gives his heart to the lady he falls in love
with..
furthermore he'll be willing to sacrifice everythin and do anythin fer his loved one.. No matter how egoist he may be, tears will fall from his cheeks
wen his heart's broken.. It's not easy to see guys who would truly cry fer their loved ones...~

20 signs to recognise the strong love a guy holds fer his beloved..

1. he willingly do anythin n everythin fer his beloved.. with sincerity not coercion
2. he constantly wans to humour his beloved and tends to be more talkative
3. he tends to advise his beloved more as he truly loves her and wans her to be a
better person
4. he tries to restrict her freedom due to his overwhelmin jealousy
5. he constantly fears losin his beloved
6. he always monitors his beloved's movements as he feels insecure
7. he hates e idea of other guys bein close to his beloved
8. he becomes jealous and sensitive wen his beloved pays less attention to him
9. he becomes the most hardworking person n help his beloved to do anythin n
everythin
10. he becomes restless wen his beloved's away fer too long
11. he cares fer his beloved more than he does himself
12. he constantly asks if his beloved loves him as he feels his love is greater than
his beloved's
13. he would not be bothered wif other gals who dun hold any importance to him
14. he will try to spend a lot of time wif his beloved even tho he noes he'll end up
waitin fer his beloved
15. he praises his beloved in front of others
16. if his beloved leaves him, he cant trust any other gal n wishes fer his beloved
to come back to him
17. wen ther is a third party, he loses his mind and is willing to do anythin to
fight fer his beloved
18. he makes sure he ensures her safety at all times
19. he is lyk a small kid who fights fer constant attention from his beloved
20. he treats his beloved as his most trusted one and willing to sacrifice all of
his wealth and even his life fer her

wah isn't that romantic.
I guess until here I will write till next time...
muakzz

2004-12-07T02:49:00.000+08:00

....Love....

The four-letter word everyone longs to hear
To have that special someone whisper it in your ear
We wait our whole lives for the real thing
Many times mistaking what was only a fling

When you find that someone, you'll know it's real
Because in your heart, it will be love you feel
When you look in their eyes and feel your heart beating
You'll know it's the love that is never fleeting

Unselfishly you give your heart...
Hoping and praying it will not be torn apart
If ever this love proves not to be true
He'll leave with something belonging to you

A part of your heart forever he'll take
You will get over this, for your own sake
After all, you must still go on
For it is not your whole heart that is gone

Many believe in love at first sight
If you find that someone, hold on tight
Work on the relationship to make it grow
And in time you will know

If this is the love, you've waited your life for
You will never want or need... Anything more
*****************

Haizzzz.....
Once again a love poem yours truly RAHAYU RAHIM
At whatever age who doesn't wanna be in love or be so much in love with someone who loves you back as how you feel. I sure will always want to be in love. The feeling is wonderful. Let me see how will I feel when I was in love...
1) I keep thinking of that person every now and then
2) Whenever I feeling down he will be the person I will look for
3) Longing for his touch, kiss, feeling the warmness of his body, ....
4) Keep wanting to hear him say "I love you" cause it makes me melt
5) Talk to him almost every hours minutes second of the day if I am not doing
anything
6) Do things together
7) .....
This list can go forever....
A few of my relationship sucks big time...but my friends says maybe it was mean to be that way cause god wanted you to meet someone else. Yah how many must I meet to find the right one?
They say everything is written and god has created someone for you if it is not here then it is there.
Hmmmm.....that is definitely sad to hear.
But kind of to sad I have never really give up hope in relationship or love. I have no idea why.
My 1st boyfriend was during secondary school someone younger than me..
We were from different school and we have different interest. He wanted so much to be a soccer player. It was great...he will call me every night at 11pm and we will talk the whole night. Anyway he left me saying that he doesn't love me anymore. Wah I cry like mad. But it made me realize that relationship won't always last even if both of you have talk about being together forever....must have been really lame huh!!
Then there was this guy who was 10 years older than me. He was a gold-digger who I eventually found out. He is really using me for money. He made me pay for his bike, petrol, food and his son diapers. Oh yah!! When I knew him he didn't tell me that fact after I was with him he told me he have a son and in a process of divorce. What a FOOL I was. Eventually we broke up cause he when missing and came back to my life...gone missing and came back. Glad it was over.....
Then there was this guy(my 1st love).....
That time when I was with him we look like 10. I was even more fat at that time and he was so skinny like a stick. He really was something cause I really love him so much. Keep thinking of him none stop. Huh....but we broke of cause there was someone else. I cried nonstop for dayz and that sucks big time.
Few years back I went on a relationship with someone way younger than me. 3 years younger. He really made an impact to my life. Cause what he did to his life and my life I will never forget. He rape children between the age of 8-12 years behind my back and he was sentence to 20 years in prison. I was really farking sad that it made me lose 20 kilo. Hahaha
Then he regret what he did call me up said sorry, he loves me, ask me to wait for him n blah blah blah. What am I suppose to do...I really have no idea.
Hey...anyway I can't just go on and on about my exs......
Relationship with me really sucks. Will i ever find the one?
With all this stupid relationship I ever experiance my expectation change and I am sorry I turn out this way but my past huant me sometimes that is why I am this way.
This is who I am andhow I have turn out to be...if you can't accept it please go out of my life cause why do you even bother...
I guess until here I will write abou love cause love is a never ending thing....

My happening

2004-12-02T02:00:00.000+08:00

Harlow I am back...
Huh that is nuts!! What have happen to me? Maybe I am this was becoz a certain incident have happen to my life.
I am remove from my course of study. I am no longer a student in Nanyang Polytechnic and I am no longer taking nursing. Is it a blessing or a bad luck?? I know I beginning to hate the course and I was starting to regret it. Not something I want for my life even if the pay is not bad. I won't wanna do what I don't like in my life. But my brother say I am a failure...am i?
Sikin always say it was hard for me to enter polytechnic but she didnt criticise me either in some way or another. She have always been there for me. Just now my mom ask what I am gonna do now...
I said I wanna work first then school back and ahe said why not go ite...
Hmmmmm.....
I just dont know if that is what i reali wan rite now. I am not saying ite is bad or anything... It just dont reali have the course i wan. Maybe in this 1 month i will think what I wan. I kind of like to be in Early Childhood course maybe this time go private. If my parents allow cause the pay is kind of expensive. I will try to ask my parents again.
My dad is not talking to me...maybe he thinks I am a failure like what my brother said. My father use to call me a quiter. Maybe I am. Kata org tua kalau keja tak pernah habis tak leh kawin...tak kawin sudahlah apa nak buat tak ada jodoh.
And I am bonded..huh guess my parents do have to pay alot. I just wanna said to them I am reali sorry. I reali use up their money alot. I will one day prove to you I am not a quiter if you only didnt force me to do something that I dont wanna do. My dad like to force me sometimes. Then I got from mendaki 75% subsidise and that too have to pay. I guess taking private is more expensive then going to school to take diploma. What have I done to my life? Did I make a huge mistake?
In some way it could be a sign that I am looking for but maybe I am stupid to have done that in my life....
Enough about that..I keep thinking about it, it is starting to kill me. I keep smoking none stop. But I cant stop thinking about it.
Now i think is to find job....
What type of job am I looking for?
Will reali like to lose a bit of weight... is that is ever gonna be sucessful when I kind of doing anything about it...HAHAHA
I hate it when people judge and saying things about me when they are reali not sure. Then I have another person who dont wanna tell the real situation about what he know about it.
I hate it when people are so into themself that they only think about their own feeling rather than thinking about mine. Here is a picture of me and Mahadi...HaPPy Amelina?
Y dont you just ask me? Say what you wanna say!! You dont like what is in my blogger just say it str8 to my face...
And dear Mahadi....you yourself dont tell people about me.
You by now should understand what are my feeling towards you...why mess it.
Getting sick of people judging me that way.

Mahadi said I always dedicate a blog for fairuz but not to him...so is that a big deal?
Just think what I am to you rite now and just be happy with it...
I dont reali feel what you say to me...and I know I keep asking you and saying to you.
CAUSE I JUST DONT FEEL IT
arghh....
Reali hate that....
What ever it is I am happy with the situation rite now....so hope you are happy too..
You dont like it fark off.
Reali like this background I am using it for my msn and my background for my comp...it is kind of reali cute hehe. Sometime I can just be angry at one time and be angry at one time.....tat is so lame of me...But what I reali care that is what I am.
Here is the background...

Haha
....LuRv is in the air....

2004-11-28T21:47:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya have been great for this past few dayz I guess...didnt reali get much money as I am so old haha.... but my aunty and uncle as usual give me money which was great for the past few dayz then when I finish wah so boring...broke again....
Here are a few pictures I took with my handphone.
Here is my 2 sweet cuzzin...they wore th same colour baju kurung that time Auni was feeling very sick and she look reali stress up. She keep crying none stop and that is kind of stressing for my uncle and aunty...She will keep asking to be cry...maybe she is too manja...or maybe because she lost teh love she had before and she felt rejected when the love was given to mostly her younger sister Afza. Maybelah sometimes a child can feel that way...I have ever felt that was...and it was kind of reali sad..
I have ever fight with my parents saying something that I reali regreat after that. I have ever said that I think my parents loves my brother more than me. Wah...I guess after experiancing it for so long I cant be bothered with it anymore.

Hari Raya With Cuzzin

Here a pic of me with my mommy...do we look the same? Huh I dont know lah. My dad is darker malay. That is why my brother is darker than me. I guess I am lucky I got my mom's colour hahaha But I guess I have gone tanner no longer fair as my mother. I think in this picture I reali look very sucky. Was damn tired look at my mommy she look even worse than me.
But sometimes people mistook me as darker/tann chinese which gets irritating sometimes.

Me and My mOmmY

Wah look at all that jewelery. Hehe. Took that picture for fun.

Wah eMaS

When out jalan raya with Fairuz and a couple of my friends and here is one pic that my handphone still have. Took the photo at my friends place. Going out jalan raya had been fun too... lots of laughter and joy. cause we didnt reali go to many houses eventho when out very early. Like I said had some misunderstanding btw a couple of my friends about lateness...which sucks big time. But it was over wanna continue fighting and angry with each other go ahead.

FaIruZ aNd RaHayU

Here is a picture my friend took of him...haha Very funny he have bantal busuk which is so cute yet so disgusting. It was reali smelly what to do kata bantal busuk(smelly pillow). I wish my child wont reali depend on that coz it is disgusting.... My parent or rather my mom wont agree on us with pantal busuk or hisap buting. My mom reali find it gross

BanTaL BusUk

Look at my brother when he went to his secondary school Dinner and Dance. He look very cute ...wear celak hahaha My brother really got nothing to do. This is the day he when home really late and my parents blamed me for that...reali sucky but what to do.

IzaT Dinner and Dance

As usual my cuzzin...simply love them

Cute Child

I reali lurv this picture...here is gree charlie angel...hahaha

2004-11-26T14:47:00.000+08:00

The day before yesterday, I went jalan raya with my friends, it was reali a lame one. Waited for Asad and his girfriend for few hours and when he finally came when we asked, we waited so long for him and his reply was "why wait for him" ...wah tat reali got into peoples' nerve. Harlow Asad we waited for you and your girlfriend and even if is was suppose to be funny or whatever it wasn't ok. Please realise you should be thankful for what you got!! Alot of people say you have changed alot, If you change too much people might one day dont like you for you have change to become rude, when you are not in the first place. Whateverlah...meet Fatrah after so long and she look reali different and more pretty as usual. But I think her hair eventho it is nice it reali look kind of funny and I am not reali sure what it reali is. It looks kind of big I guess.When to Gamma house, liza house ..the usual house and so on... Wah going Hari Raya to their house and going to their house like normal is almost the same. Come to their house, Go to their room, sit ...laugh2 and then go home..haha the same. But I guess the different is we wear baju kurung. Tasha was the earliest to my house aniway my house was the 1st, and we reali had a good chat about relationship, so lame yet it was ok. Haha....it seem like we never get tired of talking about relationship as usual. A few of my friends next yr getting married...wah my grp of fren are reali getting smaller. And some too bz with their own life. I am gonna miss my friend eventually. They are the only one I have, The one i share everything with. I seems to sucky with my school friend since recently the Asmah thing...hope not to see her again ever. Cant be bothered, Ego ppl if they are happy on their own so let it be. Friends come and go sumtimes it is hard to find friend that will last and since Ihave found my grp of frens I will lurv u till the end. Haha...Remember me always.
Aniway when we went to fatrah house the last house at Circuit Road at Macpherson(if i spell is correctly-I always know myself as a bad speller). Her father was reali into Dangdut...wah so funny . It was reali late and I reali didnt wanna take cab go home and spend so much money on cab ride so I when to my friends house to sleepover. Aniway parents wasnt home. Watch tv and then sleep and I went home around 7, too the morning bus.. And my dad was awake, and ask em where I go ad I said jln raya . When afternoon I woke up my mother was so angry and she scream alot. Asking me where I go, so jln raya till morning...was so boring. So i stay home and do nothing but continue sleeping. Wanted to go out jln raya with Mahadi and his pertapis friend but eventually never go. Woke up late and he was too bz to even bother about me. I was the one who keep calling him and I am tired of it. Make me think he cant even bother and why should I bother. To me I am the one who keep calling him and I am tired of that. It seems as if I am the one and he is doing nothing but wait like a stupid fool. Aniway yesterday my brother when to his school DND.
He was out the whole nite and when he got home this morning my mom was really piss and I was to blame tell me I am the one who teach my brother all this things. wHY ME?
So what if I am the big sister I didnt teach him all that. It is all him. What so damn sick of it .

The new Hindi Movie

2004-11-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

What a day today suppose to follow my parents and my mother's side to go out for Hari Raya visiting but I didnt, rather I when out. When eating my heart out at pizza hut at bedok..haha. What I really mean eat until I was damn full until my stomach bloated. I even bought my 2 cousin milk-bottle, Cookie Monster. It is blue in colour and it is very cute. I also bought The Sims2 pc game. I simply loves th sims. Had the first one, the one that comes with the add-on. I have it all and I love the game so much. Cant wait to play it and get bored hehe.

Me and my friend ate there because we wanted to watch this new movie frm Shah Rukh Khan and as usually my favourite Preity Zinta. I will watch any of her show cause it is my favourite. We catch the 6pm show and it ended till 9.30 then after that we just relax and talked. Hmmm.....
Here is what the story roughtly about:-

Veer Zara Movie Review

Crew
Producer Yash Raj Films
Director Yash Chopra
Music Madan Mohan
Lyrics Javed Akthar

Characters
Shah Rukh Khan: Veera Pratap Singh

Preity Zinta: Zara Hayat Khan

Rani Mukherjee: Saamiya Siddiqui

Manoj Bajpai: Raza
Amitabh Bachchan: Sumer Singh
Hema Malini: Saraswati
Divya Dutta: Shabbo
Kiron Kher: Mariam
Boman Irani: Jahangir Hayat Khan

Rating: 4/5

Movie Review

‘Veer Zara’ starts in the Kashmir valley but don’t start deducing conclusions. Veer Zara is not ‘Gadar’ nor is it ‘Heena’. So if you want to see Shah Rukh bashing entire Pakistan army you would be disappointed. There are no inflammatory dialogues, no opposition to marriage of Hindu guy with a Muslim girl. Rather the movie is a major step forward from media and Bollywood in particular towards Indo-Pak friendship. When have you seen a crooked Pakistan jailor praising an Indian prisoner in court?

Veer-Zara is an immortal love story beautifully narrated on the lines of Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu and the likes. It tells the story of Squadron leader Veer Pratap Singh (Shah Rukh Khan) and Zara Hayat Khan (Preity Zinta) that spans 22 years. Veer Pratap Singh used to be a rescue pilot with the Indian Air Force. He is a type of person who loves life and is always out to help others. One fine day Shah Rukh Khan meets this stranded girl Zara, the daughter of an influential Pakistani politician (Boman Irani), a carefree, sprightly girl who has come to India to fulfill her bibi’s (Zohra Sehgal) dying wish. The bus she is traveling in meets with an accident and Veer Pratap saves her life. This one meet soon develops into friendship and slowly fall in love.

Veer also takes this opportunity to show Zara the place where he grew up (Punjab). His uncle (Amitabh Bachchan) and aunt (Hema Malini), who have raised Veer (he’s an orphan), also develop a strong liking for Zara.

As Veer accompanies Zara to Atari Railway station to drop her to Pakistan, he is urged by Sumer Singh to express his love to Zara. But it is then that Veer realizes that Zara is soon to be engaged to be married to Raza Shirazi (Manoj Bajpai) who is standing at the station. Nonetheless Veer does express his love to Zara and tells her that he would give up his life for her anytime.

While in Lahore, Zara finds it difficult to forget Veer. Her maid Shabbo (Divya Dutta) calls Veer in India and explains the situation.

Veer gives up his job and arrives in Lahore. He meets Zara in the presence of her family and prospective in-laws. Raza still agrees to marry her for his political future if Zara is ready to forget Veer. Mariam (Kiron Kher) pleads with Veer to return to India and he does agree after a dramatic scene, which probably is the best moment in the film.

But as he enters the bus, Pakistani cops arrest him under false charges of spying after taking instructions from Raza who wants to make Veer pay for running his life and making him get married to a woman who does not love him.

Twenty two years have passed and Veer is still languishing in the Pakistani prison. He has not uttered a single word to save the honor of Zara’s and her family. But maybe there is still chance as Saamiya Siddiqui (Rani Mukherjee), a Pakistani lawyer, comes to his rescue. She meets an ageing Veer Pratap Singh for the first time and decides to get to the bottom of this case. She is the only ray of hope for Veer and Zara and she stands tall against all odds including the cruel prosecution lawyer (Anupam Kher).

Veer-Zara is not the best effort from the versatile director Yash Chopra, but it’s different even though it treads the same age old formula of lovers separated by destiny. The movie though drags a tad too much in the first half. The part where Veer takes Zara to his village could be trimmed a little bit.

Even tough every actor/actress is brilliant in his/her role brilliantly Rani Mukherjee again manages to get herself noticed. She isn’t the lead actress nor has she got any songs, her role is highly de-glamorized but she does whatever she is supposed to brilliantly. Shah Rukh has been quoted as saying that after doing so many romantic movies he almost sleepwalks through them. And it shows. He underplays himself most of the time. His acting is brilliant and he occasionally brilliantly transforms himself from a 20 something air force pilot into a 50 year old prisoner (the constantly ventures into flashback and present). Preity looks good like all Yash Raj heroines and her acting is commendable. Weather she plays the carefree teenage girl or a girl madly in love, weather she is the responsible daughter or a girl torn between love and responsibilities she is believable in every shade her character goes through.

Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are superb as the doting Punjabi-Madrasan couple. Amitabh as the young at heart village elder collects the maximum claps from the viewers. Manoj Bajpai gets minimal leverage, but he is fantastic in the scene when he confronts SRK while he is being interrogated.

For my own opinion, even if the stroy it a bit dragy but I think the story line is really good, I will give 3 1/2 star for it. Go and watch if you really wanna experiance a love story that is so touching...(i noe almost every hindi love story is touching). In this story love was so strong they willing to sacrifice everything for the other person. Wah so touching..

S1ck aGain on HarI Raya

2004-11-19T08:47:00.000+08:00

Kind of feeling down..
I am sick and my temperature had went up to 40 degree. Uh and my brain hurts so much...like kena fry like tat. wat a day to be sick.....my mom is naging at me sayin tat becoz i keep going out that is y i am sick.....
she keep saying tat i have a home and i am still schoolin.. those ppl dun..i feel very sad coz my mom keep saying this and i noe she is refering to fairuz.......i dun wan to keep hearing it over and over again so tired of it

This year hari raya seems a bit slow.....usually almost every day (if weekdayz it will be during night time) go out visiting..hmmm. Maybe my family all will continue to go jln2 this weekend...dun noelah tu who's house. i reali wonder when i am gonna get my baju kurung yg i upah kat Toko Liza... they say next week...tat is maybe....wah so long....aniway it is partially my fault i send the kain 2 weeks bf hari raya....hmmmm nvrmind. at night will be going to cik mamat and pak busus house how i wish dun hav to know...so lazy to walk....

My adik sedara auni faqihah hav been sick for the past few dayz also....but children who are sick are worse than adult they will cry almost non-stop and everything seem tak kena. sometimes i feel so stress abt it..wen she wanted sumthin she will say in a very soft voice and when u dun even know wat itreali is....she will start screaming.
when i am sick....i guess me also manja ...hehe...onli those tat hav been with me will know how i reali am.

aniway have been watchin pontianak harum sundal mlm over and over again...reali lurv the show. i hav no idea y...the 1st time i watch it i was reali scared..hehehe
aniway i reali lurv the song frm misha omar...many ppl say the guy who sing with misha omar is ezad exists...but i have read it frm sumwhere it is izzad izzudin..a newcommer i guess. i dun reali know which one is the real one...coz wen i downloaded it frm mp3melayu is says ezad frm exists.
have u reali wonder abt the lyric of the song...it is kind of very scary...
In my opinion the overall lyric is about what Mariam want to say to Marsani. Since the song stuck in my head right now, I think I better interpret it verse by verse (or line by line) just to let the idea flow out.

Lyric :-
Seharum bunga yang menggoda
Sekadar dipandang usah dipuja
Wat it means??:-
Well Mariam just like the flower itself; beautiful & lovely. As a dancer, she wants people just watch her but not falling in love with her.

Lyric:-
Kau pasti tak percaya
Kasih ku bukan,
Untuk mu, sayang
Wat it means:-
The word "kau" (you) in here must be refering to Marsani. Well the verse simply said about what Mariam said towards Marsani that her love is not for him whether he wanted to believe it or not.

Lyric:-
Tiada ku sangka kau sungguh kejam
Kau rampas segalanya yang kau dendam
Wat it means:-
Well Mariam didn't suspect that Marsani was so cruel. He rob away her dignity. In other terms, he wanted to raped her.

Lyric:-
Namun takkan bahgia kehidupan mu
Bila bunyi bersatu
Kau milik ku
wat it means:-
In first line, Mariam swore that Marsani won't be happy in his life. While second and third line, she said when then sound unite, Marsani would be hers. This may be by killing Marsani while she dance or she haunts Marsani with a certain sound.

Lyric:-
Misha : Pulangkan cinta hati ku
Izzad : Oh hentikan lah menghantui ku
wat it means:-
Well it's plain and simple, Mariam wanted Marsani tu return back her love (or beloved). I think it is her husband; Danial who died in the sea. While Marsani wanted Mariam stop haunting him. I think by now she already a ghost, that why she can haunt him.(Please take note, Misha is refering to the female singer and Izzad is refering to the male singer.)

Lyric:-
Misha : Pulangkan oh pulangkan lah pada ku
Izzad: Ku pulangkan kesan hidup mu
wat it means:-
Well Mariam wants Marsani to return back (what ever it is) to her. So Marsani said he will return what ever remain of her (may be this involve her heritage/money/jewelry).

lyric:-
Misha: Yang dikau musnah tanpa relaku
Izzad : Bebaskanlah maafkan daku, oh kasih
wat it means:-
Mariam refer the thing that Marsani had destroyed without her will. (I'm still wondering what it is.) While Marsani wants Mariam to free and forgive him.

lyric:-
Tiada kemaafan di sini
wat it means:-
Mariam makes it clear that she won't forgive him.

lyric:-
Kau ragut degupan hati ku ini
wat it means:-
Well she said Marsani snatch away her live (he killed her one way or the other).

lyric:-
Akan ku jejakimu, kemana jua
Hingga akhir masa, sayang.....
wat it means:-
Well she swore that she will track him down no matter where he goes until the end of time.

Isn't it scary? She wants to track and haunt him until the end of time. The end of life is not applicable to her anymore. aniway that is what i think the song is about. haizz guess i have nothing better to do i guess....hehe
i guess until here onli i write seem reali tired sitting for too long...
...ciao....
njOy yr HarI rAYa...MUakZz

Few Dayz TiLL Hari RAya

2004-11-11T14:33:00.000+08:00

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Since there is a few more days to hari raya I wan to take this time to wish....
....Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin...
to all muslimin dan muslimah.
*******************************
Been really busy for this past few days...it been days since i last wrote anything in my blog.
I reali hope that i could get my slippers back...it is reali special to me and please give me back if you are reading my blog. I don't care about anything I just want my slippers back cause someone bought it for me even if it a Bata slippers. Mahadi thx for everything...I didnt expect you to turn out this way u reali hurt me. but what to do what is done is done. I still dn understan what reali happen juz piss off and u juz reali walk out whateva as long as u r hapi juz be hapi. aniway i reali wan my slipper back i dun care about anything but just that. If u were hav been a gentleman u will hav col me but it is ok it has been dayz. I simply dun noe what to say. thx for all the stuff u gave to me, i reali appreciate it very much and kind to say i lurv it. aniway be hapi alwayz....take care
Anyway when shopping non-stop as usual buying more makeup things sure reali spending more money on that. But it is ok. Bought all stuff needed for hari raya like handbag and shoe. All my dad pay for it thank god...if not I will be damn broke. That day went to topshop and saw this pink panter underwear and I bought. It was reali cute and i bought it. I reali must have reali nothing to do. I reali dig into cute stuff. And I decided to polish my nails in brown colour i don't know my aunty will kill me if i colour my nails but what I care. They sure hav something to say. Cannot wear makeuplah coz it is all fake, cannot be into any relationship coz this is not the time when u start working then you can start.... and many more are aunty suppose to be that way? aniway not all my auty are that way, some are understanding but i guess they sometimes eventho understanding, they talk behind yr back I guess that is all part of life....

Anyway it is school holiday, looking for job. Fairuz has been helping me find job. Ask me to work at airport-barbox(dont reali know how it is spell). The job is reali kind of simple but a boring one. Just arrange drink at the bar box, the one all the drink are in an airplane.. I guess you all know what I reali mean rite? suppose to start yesterday but I didn't wan to cause it is gonna be Hari raya and I smply wanna stay home 1st. The work start at 8.30 till 4.30 with $35 perday pay. What do you think? Is it worth it? I have no idea if I reali wanna work here. Reali wanna work as a Sales assistant if possible. Anyway I have no idea if i reali wanna go for it.
Did henna on my hand....hehe. some more on my left and rite. diffn patten on each hand coz me a total of FOC hehe. reali like it if i dun then what seh dah buatkan takkan nak buang seh.
i onli get to do this once every 1 yr what it is not always so y not...

Since I hav nothing better to do during this few days, I design a blogskin of charmed. Done with microsof frontpage coz I onli know how to do it with that. But it is all charmed skin. I reali love charmed, I am a charmed addict.

Here is the 3 blog I have summited: what do u think of it?

here is a picture of my adik sedara 2 gether...arent they cute??Simply so in lurv with them both. a few dayz back i bought them out with my frenz coz my mother wanted to do spring cleaning and make cake. wah it is reali stressing. I reali dun wan to be a young mother that is for sure. maybe not now...later when everything fine. i was reali stress when both cry at the same time. i noe sum parents will feel the same way that is for sure. nowadayz sure have many young parents i reali wonder how they reali survive with financial, support and many more. My aunty are still werkin even if she had give birth to her 2nd child...so how long will she be working? but I am not going to do it to find out. aniway aleast there is a baby in my house and i reali lurv babies they are so cute...

Arent they cute?
The youngest one had rashes due to humid so hav to use cream all over her body..hehe
look like a mother that have just gave birth...
I reali find the youngest is too fair maybe havent yet being expose to sunlight. She reali look like chinese to u ask me. wat eve it is i lurv them...muakzzz.....

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SELAMAT HARI RAYA....ENJOY YR FESTIVE FEAST.

For The past Few Days

2004-11-04T03:20:00.000+08:00

Hai..eventually my blog is back...
Sumthing was wrong with my photobucket...got things back together...simply love my pinky blog...cause rite now i am so lazy to change my blogskin and I am kind of lazy nowaday to even update it.....
My Bio exam is done...I am gonna fail it and that sucks big time......it seems supp paper is calling my name..."come Rahayu....u gonna fail it and i am comming" wakakakaka. My parent is gonna kill me if they know I fail it...especially now that I had attendence problem and I was bar from taking 1 of my module...what happen man !!!and my father took away my pon as punishment because of it..... maybe it is better for me...dun hav to pay bill dis mth, even with juz 1 module left i am gona fail that sucks big time and I hate it. Hav to blamed myself for not studying well and not comming to school. even if i didnot go to school atleast I stay at home it is not as if I told my parents I go to scholl but I didn't. I kind of hate bio so much cause since secondary school nvr seem to score well in science. Wat the heck....got to do what i got to do....which I hav no idea what...
I am so stress with school.....hav to repeat another 6 mths. and now i look like shit...
Got dis picture...dun u think we look the same....Hahaha. What do u think?

Now school holiday is comming I think i better find a job cause this semester I gonna hav 2 mths holiday rather than 1 cause i didn't have clinical module so attachment and i drop my year 3 module. Now i can start reading my book. Another love story, the title of the book was catchy and i decided to give it a try to read.
**********
.....ThE Book I am ReadinG NoW.....

let me tell you what is at the back of this book:-
...new love, old relationship and a question of fidelity...
Tash and Rich are newly engaged and wild about each other. they can't wait to celebrate their wedding with their closest friends, all of whom have known each other since university, where they enjoyed a hedonistic whirl parties, popularity, sex and sucess.
But is fun really as easy-come-easy-go in your 30's as it was in your 20's? How do relationship change once you leave college and hav to cope with real life?
AND WHAT IF THE LOVE OF THAT LIFE WERE TO REAPPEAR NOW?
As old, long-buried passions are reawaked, the grp realiza that a lot can change in 20 yrs. And a lot can happen in 7 days...
Seems like a good story..i shall read and find out!!
**********
Been going out almost everyday with my frens....almost everytime went to geylang...nvr seems bored going there. the environment is so great that i reali enjoy going there even if it is th same thing over and over again. Got myself a henna tatto coz i have nothing better to do. Even tho I think it is stupid...i like it eventually. Coz i got it.
...henna art...

...HinDi MoViE...

Bought a new hindi movie....it sounds nice when i read at the back but kind of it is a very boring show...will not recomend it to my fren...but i lurv preity zinta..she is so cute when she smiles...she always look nice in very movie she is in....well just watch it coz she was in it....

Also bought myself make up...frm estee lauder.....wah so expensive. But i love it so much it doesnt matter, in the beginning wanted to buy ideal matte(liquid foundation) but eventually got powder foundation. what the hell...hav bought already and i am happy

hmm...i guess that is all....sure feel like going shopping but what to do...broke now..maybe nxt time....
I LuRv HoLLy MarIe ComBs

2004-11-02T02:42:00.000+08:00

SUMTHING HAPPEN TO MY BLOG

CLOSE FOR NOW WILL BE BACK SOONFOR NOW FEEL FREE TO TAG ME.

....AFTER MY EXAM..

FaLLinG In LuRv

2004-10-25T06:57:00.000+08:00

sometimes when i see romantic movie, see couple expressing their love openly..i wonder does one person reali know the meaning of love?
what is love?
different people have different description on what is LOVE.....
example:
1) when you think of noone else but him/her--->is it true??
2) love is a feelin you develop for juz for one person(soulmate/crush/...)and it can be noone but that person---> it is juz a feeling or it is more?
3) it is sumthing that you are willing to do juz for that peron----> are u really sure abt that? are u willing to die for that person?
4) love is when everythin arounds you means nothing but only him/her---> wah...u sure abt that..then wat abt education, career....in spore can u reali go far with juz that?
5) and many more...
as for me when a person ask me if i love him, and if i felt he is the one that i have this tingling feeling(which i can't explain) then i say i do love him....but when he ask me why i love him i juz can't say why.....all i will say is I juz do and i dun reali know that loving sumone have to have a meaning to it. is what i say wrong?
so........How will you know, if he will turn out to be the one...u can't reali see the future rite....
for example you are in love rite now and you will say all this thing abt him/her being the best person in yr life rite now...there could be no one else but him/her.
him/her being there for u...loving everything that peron does....u now what i mean all those mushy thing which i shall not go further... and if things didn't werk out. meet another person will u say he is the best things that have every happen to yr life again?? u get what i mean rite, could there be more than 2 peron that can be so great in yr life...I thought this type of peron will only happen once in yr life u either lose it or not.
they say internet love can't last...if they can't accept u as what u r then the realationship won't werk out...all this type of thing is called what? aniway whether it work out or not it is totally up to u.....u make how yr life suppose to go u can't juz say that it is always that way....we can never clap alone....u need 2 hands rite....so relationship can only werk out if both agree and if one doesnt then that is y it ended. i thought we plan our future....we were given brain for a reason...for us to think.
here is abt a poems abt love...read and tell me abt it:-
***************************************
All Of My Life

All of my life,
I have longed for someone like you,
So warm and tender,
with a love so true.

You light up my life
with each passing day,
Now that I have found you,
I will never let you get away.

The beauty of your smile, and
the warmth of your heart.
The great inner beauty you possess,
is what won me over,
and did from the very start.

As I sit here and think of you,
the memories of how we met
are ever so strong.
You came into my life
at a time I felt so alone.

All of my life I've longed
for someone who would love me,
for whom I am and nothing more.
You captured my mind and soul,
so you, my love, you are the key
to my heart's door.

Each day we are together,
is another day in paradise.
Knowing I've finally
found someone to love me,
surely does feel so nice.

No more lonely days and nights,
for they are gone forever, never to come again.
Since you came into my life,
I have so much love to
give to you from within.

The birds are flying high in the sky,
singing melodies of love found for you and I.
My body, soul and mind
are yours until the day I shall die.

And even after then...
the memory of love we have for each other
will speak to us for all eternity.
And another page of love
will be written in history.

As days go by let's you and I
keep this love we have between us alive.
As the hair on our heads grows gray,
we will look back at these precious memories of love
with a smile.

There will be no one who
can take this love away from us.
Because in God and each other,
we will forever put our trust.

All of my life I have dreamed
of a love so true and pure,
like yours.

Now that I have found you,
throughout all eternity this
love of ours will always endure.

I know we both are human
and are prone to make mistakes.

All of our mistakes, we will work through,
for true love is our fate.

I am just a normal human being,
from the great wonderof the world,
who loves you so much.

Each and everyday I longed
for your loving touch.

This day I pledge my love to you for always...
for better or for worse, until death do us part.

Our hearts will blend into one heart.
You and I will always be
the reality that dreams do come true.

All of my life I have dreamed of you,
Now my soul is at peace forever.
For you are here finally.

************************************
the what about sex? is sex really impt in a relationship wen u r in lurv??
they say sex spice up yr life in relationship...they also say sex will help to make yr relationship stronger.
Or it is just our desire to enjoy pleasure?
then how long should u be together until both patner can indulge in sexual relationship....?? is it as long u r with the person u can hav sex..or u hav to get to know that peron first before having sex with him...??
is havin sex doing it with just yr lurv one..but if that phrase is true then y are there prostitute around?
to me sex in not impt..it is juz to spice up a relationship(that is what i think). I dun reali think my parents hav sex before marriage...maybe that is y i dun reali think sex is for making a relationship stronger.
if u do ever had sex..do u reali know what is the best? i dun think so...u can hav sex with as many ppl as u wan but do u noe the real meaning to great sex. ppl hav been tryin to improve sex by watchin prono and reading bks abt sex(karma sutra). so what is a great sex?
as for me i dun really know.....for now i shall wait n see

rite now i am in lurv and he knows that(i hope so) but all i can say to him is i hav fallen in lurv with many but for now he is the one i am in love with. i am sori i can't say u r the best cause i dun know what is the best. all i know that for now u r the one for me that is y i lurv u....
i lurv u as what u r and what u will turn out to be...cause it is simply u...that is my feeling, my thoughts and that is me. i can't promise anythin cause i know promise sumtimes can be broken. whatever it is will we will plan it together and makes things happen together. but if one day things can't happen btw us whether it is u or me, atleast we hav that moment that we hav this thing together and it means alot to me cause at 1 moment u r part of my life and at that moment u were everythin. maybe because i hav keep fallin in lurv and n feelin hurt fallin in lurv once too many times that is the reason y i am this way. and for you i dedicate this poem:-
*******************************

You

You are my heart and soul, every feeling I know.
You are my black and white, my darkness and my light.
You take away my fear, the only one I hold dear.
You cheer me up when times are blue, when no one else has a clue.
Our love for one another will keep us going, it will pull us through.
I want to care for you and always be there for you,
I want to be your shoulder to cry on, someone to rely upon,
I carry you when you can’t go on, I’ll be your back that’s strong.
Our love for one another will keep us going, it will pull us through.
We can take the world on, hand in hand,
We can forge a love that’s strong, a friendship that’ll never go wrong,
We can be happy and sad, but always glad,
We have each other, now and forever.
Our love for one another will keep us going, it will pull us through.
They may try to take us down to our death and drown,
They may try to tear us to shreds, a penalty we both will dread,
They can try to stir our problems and berate our happiness,
They can separate us in body, but never in soul, but...
Our love for one another will keep us going, it will pull us through.
Together we rule the world and the universe,
Together we are strong and will never let this bubble burst,
Together there's no evil to fight, let’s just step into the light,
Together forever isn’t a myth, because...
Our love for one another has kept us going, and it has pulled us through.
So wherever we go, wherever we're sent, remember our love will last,
it's too good to rent.
Till death do us part, the legend is true, as long as you love me
and I love you.
We will be together till the end of time your love and hope forever mine,
So remember when you read this, don’t be sad, I’m always here for you
no matter what, in mind, body, heart, spirit, soul.
Lovers eternal, friends it's true, you have me and I have you.

**************************************
that is my entry for today...as for now.....i wanna study
lurv RahayU RaHim...muakzz and kisses

hmmmmm

2004-10-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

Being bz for the past few days.....I don't know with what!!
Being going out for the past few day..haven't being going home for buka. At home this hav been stress with me...
I was having attendence problem at school as usual..but this time it gone too far... I was bar from taking my exam and it got into the nerve of my parents.... Yah maybe they are rite I am a quiter once I hav fail. Mahadi said that I should change and prove my parents wrong but guess what i reali dun wan to prove anything, i juz wan they to accept me as what i am maybe i won't be this way and be myself... my parents hav always wanted sumthin which i dun noe what they reali wan.....Uh my dear parents I am what i am why can't u accept me as what i am rather than wan me do be sumthin i am not... arent i am gd enuff for u? reverse psychology doesn't seem to work on me. it will onli make me feel like i am a loser rather than makin me buck up in life. but no matter what i lurv u with the whole of my heart without u what will i be. u guys where there no matter what and like i say no matter what i lurv u so much. for the past fewdays i hav been smokin too much..my life without my cigarette....sampoerna-mild mentol
fasting mth hav been ok i guess... hav been out the whole week didn't even once break my fast at hm durin the weekdays....maybe because i had enuff of my parent makin me feel as low as can be....going buka with my frens.....
Bought a new bag....always wanted it last time but a diffn colour. but it will do for now. shall show u later what bag i bought.
I dye my hair tu dark brown with a bit of reddish in colour...simply lurv it alot...hahaha. guess my golden brown hair is long history...tryin my best to keep long hair n i am hapi abt it now that is going beyong shoulder length onli the tip is dry...it is all because of tat stupid wella strainer fault now it is not silky smooth....haha me dreaming too much hahahah
the house

last few days wen to sengkang...and to that house that stood there, a house that cannot be pull down very eerie....but it was a nice experiance.... took photo of it tho like got nothing better to do like that...haha
recently found out that mahadi's cuz is in love...hmmmmm tat is quick gerl but as long as u r hapi i am reali hapi for u...

recently read my email i got a letter from my a fren that is been missing frm my life for a very long time more than a yr ago...i dun now what telah happen to me.
here is what he write to me....
.................................................................................
Hey there? Apa khabar? So how's da going, huh? Btw, I ingin mengucapkan Selamat menjalani Ibadah Puasa mu dgn hati yg tabah.. Keep in touch and i really wanna thank u for sharing wif me alll the forwarding e-mail all this while. Juz to keep in touch for now, and hope to hear from u real soon. Rindu lah kat u especially wif ur life dat u have been sharing wif me dulu!! Dah dapat mat ke blum skarang? U still hv me as ur listening hear so don hestitate to write me more rather than juz keep forwarding all those naughty and cheeky mail tau.. Chiow!

"One Man Job, Nobody know" -@Ease
..................................................................................
felt vey shocked to receive this email frm him....kind of miss him alot..
he was a great fren stook by me when i needed sum1....n he has been there all this while...aniway i juz wanna say to him thx.
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http://www.asiangraphic.com/swf/hand.html
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What kind of father is that??

2004-10-18T02:24:00.000+08:00

Talk to Fairuz...and he told me about his problem...
as you can see Fairuz is kind of now living at his cousin Fhaizal's uncle place and kind of rite now not living with his father and stepmom(kind of dun like her at all). Due to some financial problem
He told me that his father have not give him and his sister duit harta arwah mak dia. here is where it begins...when the mother pass away the father sold away the house and Fairuz and his sister was taken care by his aunty and uncle(he doesn't stay with his sister). Fairuz was pissed at the beginning because his father sold the house and now adik beradik(sibling) have to stay at other people house, it is not as if they are anak yatim piatu they still have a father...then his father remarried. Heard alot of stories but 1 that really makes me feel shocked to hear was his father remarried to a janda with 2 children and they when honeymoon to india and her hantaran was 10k...can u immagine that...like in malay say kawin dgn anak dara pun tak gini mahal(marrying a virgin also not dis expensive u noe)...
There were story that his late mother's money was being borrow by his stepgrandmother and when her CPF come then she will pay back...Recently she got her CPF, his stepmom promise to give each sibling 1k...but only gave $500 and the Fairuz didn't get any...
His stepmom is like 1 gold-digger....wan to live like a rich person when they are not. Bought a plasma Tv....wahlau....dun wan to give money, spend on herself....she reali is kind of sick...
want to use sumthing that is not even hers....more like a bitch rite...she herself not werkin and dun even plan to save up the money for future use....use the money like sand. Then got the guts to say if later her husband cannot support her children education ask him to change job...wat the fuck.....she only thinkin of herself. making use of fairuz's father. Wah so stupid....
His father dun even have money for himself or buy things. Wanna buy cigarette ask Fairuz for money...I simply dun noe what to say...must be queen control.....
I don't reali know how harta is suppose to be divided but Mahadi say that the father hav no ritez to the money.....and the children only hav the rights.....What do u think??
I reali pity Fairuz and his 2 sister....it is like the father dun even bother....
The father pay for his new wife's children education but his own other ppl are paying what kind of father is that....hate it man....it sucks big time...
there is a lot of story about it many that I just can't bare and see them that way. It is as if they where treated like trash....
aniway I really hate that Fhaizal was talking to Fairuz and he refered me as 'gemuk'(fat). What an asshole he is....!! I reali hate him......he keep saying all this stuff abt me as if i have no feeling....i hope one day soon that he will hav it str8 to his face...let him realise that he is not that gdlooking...Fhaizal u need a reality check man...u suck big time....

mAKan-maKan DiRuMaHKu

2004-10-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Today my mom called up all my uncle and aunt to came to my house and ramai2 kita berbuka together.... At around 6.30 almost all my aunty and uncle came....
My mom cook today and is great...

(FOOD SERVE) (EAT YR HEARts OUT) (SiPUt SedUt-not really my Fav)
we had nasi goreng, salad, lemon chicken(the best for me), sweet and sour fish, bubur kacang, siputs sedut(one of my aunty cook this....i only like it when my 1st aunty cook it....it taste better when she cook it) and many more(yummy).....Some my aunt bring...It was a feast, i wasreally very full at the end of it....
Then after eating we Tarawih togerther at my house....one of my uncle become the imam...wah with the weather, it was damn hot ...
My cousin auni is very funny gerl she dun like to wear selendang....so wen she follow her parents to pray she like to say that he want to wear wat her fater is wearing with is songkok...see that picture there....

(AuNi LikE To WeAr SonKok) (AfZA CRy) (TaRaWIh)
after sembayang magrib and isyak together our tarawih was interupted when my cuz afza cried so we only started sembayang tarawih at around 8.30,like watching hindustan movie got intervel..hehehehe
At the end on it...I can say it was fun.....next week another of my aunty house i guess...
TaLKinG/LauGhIng fav iCe CReam
When everything is done...everybody was siting around talking and laughing.....and i got to eat my favourite ice cream....japanese ice cream. you should try...

Here is a pic of my monteL CoUsIn TauFiQ:

mY FavOuRiTE SonG FoR tHiS MoNtH

2004-10-17T02:58:00.000+08:00

By:- MonIca
yOu ShOulD'vE KnOwn BeTTeR

I didn't ask to go with you to Mexico.I really didn't need the shoppin spees inL.A, on Melrose,boy if you didn't know it well know you know.I didn't need the furs, or the jewelry because material things they don't mean much to me,and ever since you've been gone,I've been holdin us down on my own
(Hook:)I never evr cheated.I never ever lied.So you could stop asking me,asking me why?Why i never left you?And why I kept it real?And why i'm still with you?
(chorus:)U should've known better than to think I would leave.U should've better than to doubt me dear.It don't matter if you're,matter if you're down.Either way i'm gonna be around.U shoud've known that I would stay by your side.U should've known your girl was gonna ride or die.And it just don't matter if you're rich, or poor,out'or in,doing 5 to 10.U should've known better.
(Verse2:)What makes you think that I would forget about you.Think about it,who comes to see ya.Every saturday and monday,I was on that reciever.Me (me),Your girl (girl)Your life (life)Your world (world)Family and friends they just don't understand.They say I should leave you alone, but I say that they all should just leave us alone.Don't you get it?
(Hook:1x)
(chorus:1x)
(chorus repeated)No matter what they think about you,there's nothing I could do without you.

How Was ToDay?

2004-10-13T02:00:00.000+08:00

Wanted to go to school to change my blogskin cause I found it to be very boring and dull....
Unfortunately my computer at home do not have microsoft frontpage and I don't really know how to change it without frontpage...hehe. Later become very messy and stupid.
Sekali ada test kat comp lab, this stupid elective thing which last semester I took. Cannot change, maybe another day....
Then when out with anna and mahadi...it was really fun to hang out with them was fun. Anna is very cute and funny too and she is nice to hang out with. Took picture with her....she like to take picture which is kind of funny cause she makes funny faces....
Someone said that my face is very pale...Do I really look pale meh....??
I must change meh I don't want to look like some sick person 24/7
We went to eat at Far east plaza....wah damn hungery siak....!! Then we wanted to go take neoprint but din't eventually... Anna wanted to meet my brother but he decided to go tution instead scared that if he cabut again, they will call home but they didn't eventually...
While waiting for my brother there was this cat so cute, so manja...I wish I can have 1 but my mom keep saying that, "diri sendiri tak terjaga nak jaga kucing" Haha.......wat the F*ck(sorry)...leh nevermind next time can ah.....beg my mother also no use...no point to it. Will never get 1!!

Here is the picture I took with anna:-

Wah exam is near and I haven't even start studying look at my book man....my table is always messy but never study one ah.... Ah I should start if i fail...I am gonna be kick out of school...wah....that will be a waste....
Currently am repeating my year2 module...both BIOLOGICAl and it sucks big time...
I always hated science and now in nursing I have to study it ...EEK!! And guess what in my repeat module I never even once go to the tutorial or practical. Just go for lecture and itu pun I selalu scan card....pathetic kan!! What to do.... school promise that I don't have to repeat 6 month and unfortunatelly this semester the yr2 take bio one semester one bio topic unlike me last time..... ah it sucks.....
I kind of wish I will not go to the same tutorial next sem...coz I don't feel like it. Hopefully I don't join them...so maybe I can start a new fresh yr 3.....PRAY HARD!!

My Study TAble:-

How we were born!!

2004-10-10T17:00:00.002+08:00

How we where born in some way or another:
May look gross...It is gross to me...But that is how we are born.
This baby is not really born normally...Usually it is the head(top) first but in this picture the bottom is first:
Enjoy the picture: I know I didn't really at first.....Felt like vomiting....hehe
In this picture:-(you can see)
the baby about to come out..

the process by which the baby being push out of the mother

and lastly the umbilical cord...Then there will be the placenta....
How was it now do u know and can u imagine how the baby come out??

Fhaizal (Fucker)

2004-10-10T01:29:00.001+08:00

Introducing my most unfavourite person:
****FHAIZAL****

I don't know where to start to introduce you all who he is.
Hmmmmm.....
He is Fairuz's cousin. His name is Fhaizal.
All I can say is he is the most sucks peron I have ever meet in my whole life. I don't even know why he hated me so much..I never did anything to him. All I know about him at the beginning was all a lie.

But all I can say he think He is the most good looking guy(that is what I think,maybe it is true). I don't really understand why girls want him as their boyfriend.... Maybe it is because of his bike(KTM2) or he is a sweet-talker.
He like to kutuk me everytime since the day I went steady with Fairuz. Which sucks big time!!
Saying that I am ugly and fat and saying all the bad things about me. At times I wonder why he kutuk me so much he hardly even know me.
I knew him on mirc, at first found him to be nice..Maybe because he is a sweet talker. After a few months of knowing him. One day he ask this peron(Fairuz) to talk to me pretending that he was Fhaizal. Hey.. I am not so stupid, I know the diffences and I know it wasn't Fhaizal.....Eventually Fairuz admit.
The very same day(17th June 2003) Fairuz call me on my handphone when I ask who give him my number he said Fhaizal but when I confronted Fhaizal, he said Fairuz must have took it from his handphone. And that makes me hate Fairuz at the beginning.
After a few weeks of knowing Fairuz...found out that Fairuz was nice on the phone that is what makes me like with him. And one day Fairuz said he had feeling for me which was kind of sweet.
And that is when it all started......
Fairuz told me the truth about Fhaizal. It was hard to digest at the beginning. But I guess maybe it was the truth after all eventually Fairuz was my boyfriend.
Fairuz told me that Fhaizal was just playing with my feeling at the beginning. He like to make girls a fool and he was fool many girls. Fhaizal told Fairuz to make a fool out of me. Luckly Fairuz didn't and he also told me that this was not the first time Fhaizal ask him to do that.
How can Fhaizal be that way....I thought he was nice....
The TRUTH is he already had a girlfriend name Ain and they have been together for 7 years or so since his ITE life. And behind her back he is going out with girls, pretending to be single and lying to his GF. He must have fool many people. There was two girls I have known that he had fool and that was sad.
The first one was this ITE girl and he left her bulat-bulat. But eventhough I told the girl what time of person he was, she keep saying that she love him..... I guess he must have made this girl fall in love with him deeply with his bike n so on.
The next one was one of my friend name Asmah.... and he really fool her big time. I don't know what really happen. There was lots of story. Recently found out that he used Asmah for money. I always knew Asmah will love him but all I can say to Asmah is I never told him to go steady to make a fool out of you. Fairuz told me Fhaizal told Asmah I force him to go stady with her but He told Asmah he went stady with her because he had feeling for her which was alie.... But I guess you are just one of the girls he got the chance to fool. How can he loves you, Asmah when he never really broke up with Ain. Can you really love two person...you can but one of them must be just saying I LOVE YOU but never really mean it!!!
He always have been trying very hard to break me and Fairuz up which was never really successful...luckly(i thank god for that). Fairuz said Fhaizal never had the chance to fool me that is why he was very piss of with me. Hey I am the only girl that Fairuz know that is brave enough to talk back and kutuk him when he kutuk me. Fhaizal was really happy when I and Asmah was no longer friends, cause he was successful enough to make me lose something in my life....But it was ok. I am being strong. A lier like him how long can he go. All I can say to Asmah is I have warn you but you are one of the girls who believe in his sweet talk.
This two girls are not his first they are many more that I have heard story of and it is kind of sad that he is doing this.
Hey If any girls know him by far, be very careful.....remember he is still attach and he is still fooling girl..... better watch out. Maybe one day his day will come....but till then he is still lucky...
Hmmmm......there a few guys out there who is like him and it sucks....
But life has to go on.......

BeLoVEd BRoThEr

2004-10-07T06:00:00.000+08:00

InTroDucinG my BroThEr:
Name: Rohaizat Bin Abdul Rahim
Age: 18 years old (4th Sept 1986)
ScHooling: Siglap Secondary School
Taking his O'Level this year
(Tall Dark and So call cute Guy)--> hahaha like real

Alot of people says that we don't look like brother and sister in the 1st place... which kind of sucks. Those who don't really know me so well will think that he is my boyfriend. Are they blind, if you look properly we kind of look the same in some way or another. Don't you think so? There was one incidence that may friend ask me why am i dating dark guy, they thought I only go for fair looking type of guy...Yah rite!! as if skin colour matter in relationship. HAHA but that incident was kind of funny....
I have always enjoy his company, he is always fun to be with. Make me laugh the whole time and I really want that in my guy. Who won't? Eventhough we always fight...doesn't matter with word or fist. We can't really be angry with each other for long. Usually when we do fight, it will only takes us a few hours to start talking to each other like normal. I guess it is ok since we are sibling. But there are some who will continue for days without talking to each other.
He is my partner in crime, last time we had tution together and both of us didn't go for it. We just hang out together until it is time to go home. Oh and please don't tell my mother about it cause she is going to kill us.
We are very open to each other, we tell our problem in school, relationship, money and so on. I will ask for his opinion on my boyfriend sometime. To me if you can't click with my brother then there must be something really wrong with you some where. Cause he is fun to be with.
In relationship, he seem to suck in it cause he is shy which is kind of funny with his type of personality. Wah i can remember He keep telling me about this diana girl last time, How he had a crush with her. But Izat it is just a crush, that type of feeling can just fade away you know. Sometimes when gerls are interested in him he will go dumb....think it can't be true that some gerl can really like him. I guess he won't rush to be in relationship, maybe 1 day the right will come along.
And you know recently, there was this cute gerl interested in him.

PIcTUrE OF aNa_iZaD tAkEN tOgEtHeR:
What do you think? Do they look cute together?

Funny isn't it!! My brother better make that move if not he will lose this cute gerl.
To tell you the truth I don't really know my brother's taste in gerl at all. But as long as he is happy I am happy for him.
He is a freak in games, usually I will ask him about things in games. Wah...I can continue writing about him and it will nvr be finish. Just wanna wish him all the best for his O'Level and to anna too. STUDY HARD BUT STUDY SMART....
As for me I better start studying if not I will be kick out of school...haha

...ToUcHinG StORy...

2004-10-07T01:58:00.000+08:00

I got this from my friend, and I find it is one of many romantic story that I have read that I find is really touching.

Hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did.
Pls take some time to read...
My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being nature, and I love the warm feeling while lean against his broad shoulder. Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before has now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocking. "I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thoughts the whole night with cigarette lighted all the times. My feeling of disappointment is getting intense, a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked :" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Look deep into his eyes and I slowly answered :
"Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both sure that the making you to pick the flower will cause death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My heart just sink by listening to his respond.
The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratching writing, underneath a glass of warm milk, It goes....Dear,"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allowed me to further explain the reasons " this first lines has already break my heart. I continue reading.
You can only type with computer and always messed up the programs in the PC, and cries in front of screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs
You always left the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home for opening the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to leads you the way.
You always has the cramp whenever your "good friend" approach every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy.
You like to stays indoor, and I worries that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tells you jokes and storiesto cure your boredom.
You always stared at the computers, and that do no good to your eyes, have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails,and help to removed those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands... tells you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, before I am sure there are someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die.. " My tears drops on the letters, and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resume my reading..."And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there,with your favorite bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread....
Oh I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form.. . flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.
Under all this, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life... I hope everyone enjoy reading it... love, but not words win the arguments...
"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."
-Henry Van Dyke -

About Him

2004-10-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

Rahayu and fairuz

Here me and fairuz..
People say we are a cute couple. Do you think we are a cute couple?
I don't really think so... I think we are bad combination cause he is too goodlooking to be true...haha(is just my thought)
We were having some problems and it is kind of very sucky. We will continue to fight on and off continuously. And it got really,really serious. We eventually decided to go out seperate ways and be friends. Maybe it is for the best right now. He didn't wanna let me go and I really didn't know why he still choose me. Like they said if you let your love go and if it returns and that is what you call true love and as in malay says, "Jodoh tak akan ke mana."
All I can say about him is, he is a caring and loving boyfriend. He stood by me whenever he can. And kata orang that is what you will call "mat sanggup". But isn't what gerls want that in a guy. Haha I am promoting him. Hey if anyone is reading my blog interested just leave me a message ok. Hope maybe one day he will find a better gerl out there. Maybe I didn't really appreciate him as much as I should. Sometimes I felt that I will never find someone as loving as him.
He tell me his problem about his family and it makes me so sad that people treat him like trash. Just told him to relax and be strong. In life stress will always be there cause it is part of life. You just have to solve it one at time if not you will only die of it. Get what I mean there.... ?? I think I am becoming windy here.
So as to say he will always be in my mind no matter what!!

Here ia a bit of introduction of him:-
Kind if writing abot him anyway...

Name: Muhammad Fairuz Bin Nordin
Age: 20 years old (21th May 1984)
Werking in airport cathering
Staying: Aljunid(with father)
Sibling: 2 sister, Emy and Tasha..1 step-brother Rafiq
Father remarried after !st wife pass away
Likes: KTM(likes bike i guess), sing to Slam's song, jiwang berg...
About him: Loving, caring...goodlooking(hehe), sweet, nice smile, sanggup do anything for GF, blah blah blah....
What I hate about him: Shall not be mention( I dun't even know why i put this if I don't wanna tell)
Height: 1.75m Weight:50+kg (look like one lamppost) and he can still carry me wah so strong :-p

Bad colour combination for this posting
Am i still in love with him?

MaRLboRo LiGhT

2004-10-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

Very FUnnY phOto..
here to anyone who smoke this brand ...no offence but it is for fun, lAughter and Joy..HEHE!!

Marriage now a days

2004-10-03T05:37:00.000+08:00

Juz now went to my aunt's nya husband sidenya anak sedara marriage. It was a small one since their marriage is a "shortgun". hmmmm atleast they did it under the block like normal marriage and not just at rom. Let me think what i really think of this type of marriage!!
Maybe it is embarrassing I guess in some way or another. But I cannot really blamed them. He is willing to take the responsibility and that is kind of manly enuff. If I was in that situation I will really wish the guy will that his role and not run away. I will not abort the child for sure. I kind of live in a family where having a child is kind of hard and there is where i have learn to appreciate GOD's gift.
******************************************************************************

Sometimes they just get married because of their parent's pressure about their responsibility. And not really because they want to spend thieir life together. Like growing old together.

Finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with may seems easy but is it really that way?I am really emotional at times and i really believes in love so much like finding the right guy in my life. Loving each other and live happily ever after. My ex have ever tell me that life is not really like stories book that I have read but for what i know we are the one who choose our path in life(what we want).

Hopefully one day I will get to meet my knight in shining armor be my savor and tell me that everything is going to be fine and he will always will be there for me no matter what happens. Will I ever get to find him? Only time will tell. With all the bad relationship I have ever experience I could only wish it could be true.
where Oh WHERE IS MY KNIGHT?

Here is a funny Cartoon about instant BabY!! (very cute) I LIKE

My LiTTle AngLe

2004-10-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

wat do u think of them...they are my little angle....
Simply love and adore them so much. it is my uncle's daughters and my mother is taking care of them currently.

aFza HaDiRAh
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This is the youngest, she is 2 months. nothing much can say about her cause i just know her. hahaha.
she is also cute i find she look like a chinese. don't you think so?
all i can say is about her is she sleep alot and cry only...favourite drink milk....
haha...stupid rite after all she is juz a baby...DUH!!!!
AUnI FaQiHaH
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The oldest is Auni Faqihah she is 3 years old dis year. She is the one that i adore the most of course. I like to tell her my problem maybe because she will not understan and will only sit down n listen to me talk that is why i tell her...hehe Many people says she look like a boy. Do u think so?
Maybe becoz my mom says my aunty wanted a son. or maybe later in the future she will be good looking... manalah tahu...(u will never know)
Now she is very stuborn and naughty.... she is fierce... she will beat you up if u scole her or tell her what she can't do.
She is a devil in disguist...haha oklah wat else can i say about her?
I spoil her alot. Ad my mother say I hav teach her wrong stuff cause when i switch on techno song and any fast song she will dance to it. haha very cute sum more.

Funny Cartoon

2004-10-02T21:32:00.000+08:00

Sexy Spike

my friend gave me this picture....funnykan
tulah nak spike kan rambut...
samapi kat situ pun nak spike kan. tak ada kerja.

To all my FRIENDS

2004-09-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

To My Friends Who Are SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.Love can make you happy but often it hurts,but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it.So, take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person."It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say "I love you" if you don't care.Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.Never look in the eye when all you do is lie.The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in lovewhen he doesn't intend to catch her when she fall and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who Are MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry"not "where are you', but "I'm right here"not "how could you", but "I understand"not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

To My Friends Who Are ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent togetherbut how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allowthem to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks butto learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep them again.

To My Friends Who Are POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most

Renungan Untuk Orang YAng Bercinta

2004-09-21T01:52:00.000+08:00

Renungkan
Hayati and Faham
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Jika kamu memancing ikan....setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail, hendaklah kamu mengambil terus ikan itu....janganlah sesekali kamu lepaskan ia semula ke dalam air begitu sahaja....kerana ia akan sakit oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu dan mungkin ia akan menderita selagi ia masih hidup.
Begitulah juga setelah kamu memberi banyak pengharapan kepada seseorang...setelah ia mula menyayangimu hendaklah kamu menjaga hatinya....janganlah sesekali kamu terus meninggalkannya begitu sahaja....kerana dia akan terluka oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin tidak dapat melupakan segalanya selagi dia mengingatimu....

Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh.... cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu...Apabila sekali ia retak.... tentu sukar untuk kamu menampalnya semula....akhirnya ia dibuang....sedangkan jika kamu cuba membaikinya mungkin ia masih boleh digunakan lagi....
Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang terima lah seadanya....
Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa....anggaplah dia manusia biasa.Apabila sekali dia melakukan kesilapan bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya.... akhirnya kamu kecewa meninggalkannya.Sedangkan jika kamu memaafkannya boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan berterusan hingga ke akhirnya....

Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi...yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu.Mengenyangkan.Berkhasiat.Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba mencari makanan yang lain..Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan.Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya.Kamu akan menyesal.Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan.....
yang kamu pasti membawa kebaikan kepada dirimu.Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu.Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba membandingkannya dengan yang lain.Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan.Kelak, kamu akan kehilangannya apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain Kamu juga yang akan menyesal.....
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cInta KiTa bErdua

2004-09-18T13:03:00.000+08:00

Our Relationship Together

*******Rahayu Binte Abdul Rahim & Muhammad Fairuz Bin Nordin*******

Our relationship started on the 28th June 2003. How it started was kind of funny. We kind of get to know each other from the phone. Our realationship is like the song from the Savage Garden. We were introduced by his cousin (Fhaizal). In the beginning I knew Fhaizal from mirc. So called we had this thing called loved but I guess it didn't turn out the way it should have been.

Fhaizal told him to get to know me and see if I could still remember him if I get to know other guys. I started talking to him on the 17th June. That was the beginning of it all. And it bloom from there. Maybe you will think that this type will not last but I hope it will end as much as he hope this relationship will end.

As he said Fhaizal wanted to make a fool out of me and kind of he came to my rescue and tell me the truth about Fhaizal intention. He have told that Fhaizal never really loved me in the first place cause he already had a girlfriend. A long realtionship. I didn't know of this relationship after more then 6 months I found out. What a lier that guy is.

From then until now our realtionship has been going on.
Our realtionship is full of fights and misunderstanding.
We will stay by each other(if we can) to make this relationship last as long as it can possible can be.

Hope you will enjoy reading about our journey together even if it was the past.

*******Rahayu Binte Abdul Rahim & Muhammad Fairuz Bin Nordin*******

*****Rahayu BinTe AbDul RaHim*******